“ The problem was the Hello Kitty lettuce container. […] At this point, you’ve lost me. I’m asking too many questions. I’m overthinking both the fridge and its owner. I’m wishing the fridge only carried sparkling water. I’m feeling like the fridge is trying too hard. I’m thinking Don Draper would never allow a Hello Kitty lettuce container in his icebox. I’m wondering how many shoegaze LP’s are in this Hello Kitty lettuce container-owning dude’s record collection that I might be forced to listen to.
— Disgrasian’s Jen, responding to the question, “Will a clean fridge get you laid?” (No, she says, it will not.)
